Letter to my daughters

Things I will teach my daughter about relationships:
Contrary to what is preached in the movies;

1. Never discuss your past with your current partner. They will throw it in your face if you have a disagreement

2. Never talk about your parents/siblings with your partner. It will be used as ammunition if you ever get in a fight

3. Never share your deepest insecurities/childhood traumas with your partner. If you ever make a mistake, they will blame it on your past

4. Seek to have a solid financial base, independent of your partner. If you ever rely on anyone, they will ensure you never forget who is feeding you.

5. Love and have confidence in yourself regardless of your relationship status. Being in a relationship does not make one whole

6. Money and financial stability is everything. Do not be fooled by the notion that money does not buy happiness. It buys respect and a sense of freedom.

7. The only person who will ever love you unconditionally is your mother. Your father will only acknowledge you when/if you meet their standards of success. On rare occasions, an African father may try to play the ” role” of mum – but rarely

8. People will love you as much as they can benefit from you. If you ever lose a high paying job/title, the calls will dwindle down to nothing. Do not take it personally, that is human nature. So work hard to be someone.

9. Always trust your intuition, it will never steer you wrong

10. When you love, do so unconditionally and without expectations. If they do not appreciate it and put you down for it, remember points 1-9.

You’ll never get out of this life alive. So live your best self, do not try to impress anyone, and above all, love yourself. The power is all yours

Love, Mum