D.M Chronicles , Kenyan style

As I walk past the kitchen minding my own business
D.M : Andy ( Aunty) Iko kitu nataka kukuambieko
Me: Inwardly rolling my eyes coz I know that opening line is never followed by anything good “ Sema”
D.M : Chief wamenipigia simu, ID yangu imetoka
Me: Hiyo ni Sawa
D.M : Nimeambiwa niende nichukue
Me: Sawa, si utaenda tu, haina shida
D.M : Ujue naenda kesho
Me : Usipoenda kesho nini itafanyika?
D.M : Wamesema lazima niende tu kesho. Hata naweza pigia chief muongee
Me: Sitaki kuongea na chief
D.M : Ujue mimi natoka saa kumi
Me: Now getting annoyed “ Siwezi amka saa kumi kufungua mlango. Itakuchukua dakika ngapi kupanga nguo?
D. M : Kidogo tu
Me: Panga vitu zako uweke sitting room, nakuandikia barua upite kwa gate.
D.M : Si nipike lunch kwanza?
Me: Hapana, utachelewa. Jitayarishe utoke. Si nimekulipa mshahara?
D.M : Ndio
Me : Harakisha basi usichelewe

Stereotypes:
There is something to be said about them. As much as it is wrong to base off preferences on them, somehow they just creep up on us and prove to have an element of truth.
The truth is, I never wanted a househelp from Western. My main reason was that they look for every reason to travel upcountry as often as they can. That, in itself, is not a bad thing. Except for the fact that it can happen at any time.
You could be showered, dressed and ready to leave for the office, and they drop the “ my great grandfather’s uncle from my sister’s mother in law’s side died and I must go for the burial”. To the infamous “my son/daughter was bitten by a snake or hit by a motorbike” story and I have to go home urgently.

Somehow, my sister managed to make me see the err of my ways, judging people based on(you guessed it) stereotypes. And I decided to try a lady from Western to help me with house chores, something I haven’t done in a while.
Anyway, this chief/ID story is a new one for me, but if covid taught me one thing though, it’s that we as humans are resilient. Whatever anyone throws at us,we can adapt and adjust without compromising our peace of mind. And if your boss doesn’t understand that life happens and emergencies come up, you can fire them too.

When I remember at one time I used to think it would be impossible to take care of my house without external help, all I can do is just laugh. My advise to all mother’s out there: if it’s possible, save up for a washing machine. It saves soap, water and backaches. That also happened to be my best investment at the height of the pandemic.

Stereotypes do have some elements of truth after all, don’t they? Anyway, moving on swiftly….